24 January 2011

Uncle Phil

I received word early this afternoon that my Uncle Phil (number seven in the line of siblings for my mom) passed away this morning. Suddenly, unexpectedly, of a heart attack. My heart breaks for his wife and his five daughters (the youngest of whom is only sixteen, and the eldest of whom I believe is in her early thirties). He also leaves behind a toddler grandson, and a one month old granddaughter. His middle daughter, who I was always pretty close to growing up, is getting married this Spring.

I will never know which is easier - to know the end is coming, like we did with my mother, and to prepare for it for weeks, even months - or to wake up one morning and find out that a piece of you is no longer here, with no warning, no last-minute chances to say goodbye.

After work, I headed over to my other aunt and uncles house, to see how this aunt was doing (the middle-child of the group of my mom's siblings). I told myself I was going to check on her, to make sure she was okay, and to see if she needed anything. But maybe I really went for me. I let myself cry. Not long and hard - that will come on the day of the funeral - but I actually let the tears escape that I had held in all day today at work.

Uncle Phil, you will be missed terribly by those who were left behind. And my beautiful cousins - I am so so sorry for your loss.


  1. I'm very sorry for your loss, Sidny. You probably know better than I would, but I imagine that knowing beforehand that someone is passing away would be at least a little easier. A huge fear of mine is that someone I love will pass away suddenly and unexpectedly =/, so I can't imagine what his family is feeling right now.

  2. Oh, I'm so sorry! That's too bad. :(

  3. Thanks for your words, ladies.

    Melanie - I honestly really don't know. My mom was sick for about a year, and I literally was watching her die. And it was horrible, because there was nothing I could do. I mean, there would be nothing I could do either way, but still. And then when I was in Tennessee, I had a manager who was very motherly to some of us, just pass away suddenly. And that tore me apart as well. I don't know. Either way, it's awful. I guess you just never know, and need to let people know how much you care while you can.