I have come to realize that Donnie and I rarely use names of the people that we are interested in. Somehow, life just gets far too confusing that way. So, somewhere along the line, we started developing nicknames for every single person we date. Or kiss. Or show any sort of romantic interest in. I am highly amused by this, so I thought I would share a few of our ridiculous nicknames for people. Real names, will of course by omitted - because while I am a jackass, I'm not stupid.
Turkey Timer. This isn't really fair, because this guy named himself this. He likened his, uh, member, to a turkey timer - and he to a turkey. This was always particularly funny to me, because at the time, it wasn't like I knew any differently anyway. He could have told me he was enormous, and I'd have had no basis for comparison. But now, it makes me laugh. A lot.
Moral. Named so because of the "moral dilemma" that he caused. Though I like to think the name is ironic - since the guy has no morals to speak of.
North Carolina. Because he lived in North Carolina. Yeah, we're not always creative or amusing with our names. North Carolina turned out to be a complete dud and waste of my time. The phrase "Fuck North Carolina" is often uttered, but it doesn't mean I have anything against the "First in Flight" state.
Atlanta. Yeah, guess where Atlanta is from.
Teeth. Named so because he has this enormous toothy smile.
Champ. This one is particularly funny. I started calling him Champ one day, for no real reason, except that I thought it would be funny. I also tossed around the idea of calling him "Bud," or "Pal." Just to be a jackass. I about died when I found out, months later, that he had said that he could "take it like a champ." Oh, champ, I don't want to know.
Ol' Boy. Some guy that Donnie dated for a while, and I always have to think about what his name was, because I don't recall ever actually using it, even when said guy was around.
Larp. A random first-date I had, who had confessed that he would be intested in Larping. Donnie now tells all of our friends that "Sid knows all about Larping. Why don't you ask her about it?!" Larping, for those who don't know, is "Live Action Role Playing." Like, you dress up like a mythical creature, and run around in the woods with swords and shit, killing other fake creatures. No lie.
AC. The one who works in Atlantic City. See? We're really not that creative. We'll be like "I wanna go down to Atlantic City tonight." "Oh, is AC working?"
Pokemon: Named so because he's the guy who (used to) stock the trading cards - amongst other things - at our store. I had all of my close co-workers referring to him as such. But I am relatively certain that we never did so to his face. I think.
Pinata. You know, with a little tilde over the n. Obviously. But I have no idea how to do that, which is why I suck at Spanish (and life in general). He was named this because he's of hispanic descent. I never remember where he's actually from. Costa Rica, or something, I guess. But yeah, he's this enormous Spanish guy. And sometimes, I wanna hit him with a stick.
I am sure that there are a whole lot more that I can not think of off the top of my head. But these are some of my favorite amusing names we have for people.