I kinda of hate Holidays - especially things like Mother's Day. It reminds me of how much I miss my mom, and of things that she won't be there for. Like how I didn't have my mom to see me graduate high school, or to talk to the first time I fell in love, or to see me go back to college, or well, anything. She'll never see me have children (if I ever do), or see me get married. She'll never know my sweet little nieces, and only got to be around for the first four years of my nephew's life.
I really wonder if part of the reason that I am so anxious to start a family is to make up for the things that I am missing with my own mom. As if it is somehow going to bring her back, even though I know that is ridiculous.
Sometimes, I really resent people who have living mothers. It makes me so angry sometimes. Like when I see women who are in their fifties or sixties whose moms are still alive. And a lot of them seem to have no idea how lucky they are. I'd give anything to be able to see my mom again, even if it meant I was "burdened" with caring for her as she grew older.