09 July 2014

My love life... or lack thereof... online dating style

Against my better judgment, I was feeling the need to write a blog post about online dating. Truth be told, this is something that I am just-experienced-enough in to write about, though I don't have any wonderful success stories, telling you all about my wonderful experience with the perfect man that I meant, and how wonderfully happy we are together. I originally started writing out a fairly detailed post about some experiences I have had, but I decided instead to just give you a few highlights of some of the real winners that I have met on dating websites.
  • The guy who kept trying to get me to sleep with him (I was a virgin at the time) and insisted that we could try other... ahem... alternatives. Let's just say they all made sense when he later revealed to me that he used to sleep with men in college. And no, I never gave in to his weird advances.
  • The guy who told me that I'd better not get pregnant with his baby, because he wasn't ready to be a dad. No worries, though: he told me if I did end up pregnant, he would just push me down the stairs.
  • The guy who I drove nine hour to meet (to be fair, he was a friend of a friend) who then spent most of the time I was there ignoring me.
  • The guy who came to my apartment to hang out, and upon leaving, texted me to say "while we were making out, I had seven missed calls from my wife." Oh man. Of course you did.
  • The guy who I drove about forty minutes to meet so that we could have dinner at a restaurant that he liked that was close to his house. He then proceeded to look everywhere but at me during our dinner, and I'm pretty sure he was checking out a waitress behind me.
  • The guy who came over to my house for our first date and brought a movie for us to watch. Aww, sweet. Right? Except that it was a horror flick (after I told him that I DO NOT watch scary movies) that involved a tree raping a girl in the woods (seriously? What the hell?).
  • The guy who legitimately tried to wrestle with me on our first date. Like, seriously wrestle. Like we were adolescent boys.
  • The guy who made me pay for his dinner. At McDonald's. Because he decided that he couldn't afford it after he said he would pay. The total was eleven dollars. Eleven dollars.
Seriously, I wish I was making some of these up. Someone please tell me that I'm not the only one who has found such losers online!

In the meantime, I did meet a guy online last month who's really nice. He lives four hours away though (this is what I get for screwing with the "locals" option on my dating app while I am visiting my dad. Also, there's definitely an awkward moment when you're playing on the "locals" option and it suggests your brother who's sitting in the next room). We did go on a date the last time I was home, and it was nice. But four hours away? Probably not the best idea to try to pursue.

And then I met a guy on said dating site yesterday who I have had the most fluid conversation of any person I have ever met on a dating site. I mean, it never felt awkward, conversation flowed freely through my fingertips, and he told me I was pretty. Twice. The kicker? He's not really available.

How do people meet people? Because this online dating thing is seriously for the birds! I wish I had some interests that led me places to meet single men. But alas, my interests include going to work and sitting home cuddling with my dogs. And well, no single men here... and no particularly eligible ones that come into my job either.


  1. Online dating cane certainly be a circus or a zoo. Depending how you look at it. I remember some of the crazy messages I got. I used to think, "Wow, if this is all that's out there, I'm all set thanks!" But yeah it seems like it is a really hard market out there when you are single these days. Good luck!

    1. It really is tough! I mean, to be fair, I've had some crappy experiences with guys I've met in real life too. Some of the online guys though just blow my mind with how ridiculous they are. I keep trying to tell myself that I'd rather just be single and not deal with these fools, but truth be told - I want to be loved. Sighs.

  2. It's not all bad. I met Brett online.