I sit here this morning, absolutely blown away that what I posted last evening has gotten over 160 views at this point. I say what I feel, and I feel so strongly about the topic of rape. I have posted it before (my old posts from this blog are no longer visible - still saved in case I feel the need to ever pull them up or repost, but invisible because this blog was inactive for so long, and I thought it better to give myself a fresh start).
If what I said made just one person think twice before posting a tasteless meme about rape, then I feel that I have done enough. Enough for today. Enough for now. I sat and debated last night whether I should comment on yet another tasteless meme that someone on my friends list posted about rape... but I held back, and made it a point to share the link to yesterday's blog entry again this morning. I will share it again if I have to. And I will write more again if I have to. And I will be the one who talks about it when other people can't. And I will find a way to comfort someone who isn't ready to scream their truth out loud yet. But for now, my voice is small, but it is there just the same. One day, I feel like I will absolutely let loose and roar and scream, and no one will realize what hit them. And I will point to these posts, to my social media presence, and I will tell them that I have been here fighting all along.
In spite of everything, I fully believe that things happen for a reason. If I didn't, I wouldn't still be here. I would have ended it a long time ago. I would have been another victim who just couldn't push any harder. But I've found my strength in being able to use my voice, my words, my experience to reach others. That occasional whisper of "me too" is enough, when she wasn't brave enough before to say it out loud, even in a whisper.
I have friends who won't talk about their experience out loud or publicly, and that is fine. No one has to talk about it if they don't want to. It's private, and difficult, and a hell that you just don't understand until you have been there. But those private messages to me after I post something, thanking me for what I said? Those make it worth it. Knowing that someone feels comfortable enough to talk to me about their experience, even when they haven't been able to talk to others? That means a lot. I only wish that I had any helpful words to give them, any legitimate reassurance that it is, in fact, going to be okay... I can only be honest, and listen, and be a shoulder - because sometimes? Sometimes I need someone to be a shoulder for me, too.
In spite of everything, I fully believe that things happen for a reason. If I didn't, I wouldn't still be here. I would have ended it a long time ago. I would have been another victim who just couldn't push any harder. But I've found my strength in being able to use my voice, my words, my experience to reach others. That occasional whisper of "me too" is enough, when she wasn't brave enough before to say it out loud, even in a whisper.
I have friends who won't talk about their experience out loud or publicly, and that is fine. No one has to talk about it if they don't want to. It's private, and difficult, and a hell that you just don't understand until you have been there. But those private messages to me after I post something, thanking me for what I said? Those make it worth it. Knowing that someone feels comfortable enough to talk to me about their experience, even when they haven't been able to talk to others? That means a lot. I only wish that I had any helpful words to give them, any legitimate reassurance that it is, in fact, going to be okay... I can only be honest, and listen, and be a shoulder - because sometimes? Sometimes I need someone to be a shoulder for me, too.
It's crazy to me how casually some people take the topic of rape - like with memes, etc. I'm glad you're able to use your voice, in whatever way you can - I'm sure it's not easy at all. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteLauren
www.shootingstarsmag.net
Thank you! I was talking to my boyfriend about it last night, and he started saying "well, not many people who read your blog are probably men, but if it stops one of them from saying something..." I was like "Wait... but most of the things I've seen posted are by women..." I guess it just blows my mind how many women are part of the problem.
DeleteThank you for sharing this post. I went back and read your post from last night, and it's just so important. Rape and sexual assault are nothing to make light of or joke about. All the celebrities make me sick. Especially when people make excuses for them. I'm glad that the #metoo movement has started, but I hope women keep speaking out and demanding more action. Thank you for being brave enough to share.
ReplyDeleteExactly! Peoples defense of them is absolutely disgusting. And maybe it's crazy of me, but I am even more angry when it's women either defending them, or posting jokes about the whole thing.
DeleteThen today I saw a post about the boy scouts incorporating girls, and someone's comment was that that's the next generation of the "me too" women. A bunch of little girls who just want to learn survival skills like boys... grown adults talking about how they're going to be raped. My mind just hurts from all of the absurdity of it.
I think it's great that you're speaking out about this topic. I don't like people making jokes or light of it either. It isn't right. We all deserve better.
ReplyDeleteIt scares me that some of the people I see making these "jokes" have small kids. Teaching another generation to be callous about such a serious topic. :-/
DeleteGood for you! It was an excellent post.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteHi Sidny. Thank you so much for bopping over to my page and leaving such a positive message. I can see now why my #metoo poster had resonance for you. I was raped when I was 17, and I've written a lot about it on my blog. AT age 50, I think I have finally resolved my demons in that area- but it should have been dealt with years ago. I'm so proud of you for speaking up. Don't even let anyone you are speaking too loudly. This is a problem that has been going on for far too long.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to have to keep following your blog! While this is an awful common thread to have with someone, it's somehow comforting to know we aren't alone.
DeleteMine has only been eleven years ago (I say only as if that isn't a long time - sometimes It feels like yesterday, and other times it feels like an entirely different lifetime). I like that I am able to speak about it, because I know a lot of people who just can't bring themselves to talk about it at all.