weight loss thoughts

February 2018

I have to keep reminding myself that if I've done this once, I can do it again. I've gained back about fifteen pounds since February. Blame depression, and that crazy-long, crazy-cold winter... and frankly, blame me. Just blame me for not pushing myself hard enough, for not trying, for thinking that I had come far enough and was allowed to have a cheat day, which turned into a cheat week, which somehow turned into a cheat two months. Blame me for not finding a way to order my Thrive, which has been 100% life-changing. The month that I didn't have it was bad - weight came back, depression settled back in, and I just wasn't the person I had worked so hard to become anymore.

But I'm back. I'm back to fight. I'm back to take those pounds I re-gained right back off. I'm back to keep pushing after that, and keep working toward my ultimate weight loss goal.

August 2016

At the same time, I don't want to take away from how far I have come. Even after gaining some weight back, I am currently about seventy pounds lighter than I was in August of 2016. Despite being disappointed about my slight setback, I have to remind myself that I am allowed to be proud of how far I came in the first place. I am not that girl anymore, and I am proud of that fact.

A few words for anyone who is fighting to get healthier alongside me:

• You can do it! I know everyone says it, but seriously - if I can lose seventy pounds, so can you. I am nothing special in terms of weight loss or health. I am not better than you, I am not stronger than you. I am just like you.
• Start where you are! Don't wait until the beginning of next week, next month, next year. You are here now, and there is no better time or place to do this.
• Be realistic with yourself, and set appropriate goals. Sure, my ultimate goal is still over a hundred pounds away - and that seems terrifying, and overwhelming, and like it might never get here. But my current goal? Lose ten pounds. My goal after that? Lose five more. Five more after that. Set realistic timelines, and understand that weight will come off at different rates during your journey. You might lose a lot your first month, and then you might stagnate for a while. You aren't doing anything wrong - your body is just trying to figure out who this new badass is!
• Baby steps are better than no steps. Don't force yourself to cut out everything you love right this moment. Maybe cut out soda for a while, then cut out chips, then cut out candy. Pick one or two things to cut out, or one or two lifestyle changes to make at a time.
• Allow yourself a cheat day. It doesn't necessarily have to be a designated day - I personally never pick a certain day because my schedule and plans fluctuate. And just because you allow yourself a cheat day doesn't mean you're supposed to be bad all day. Have a meal you've been craving all week, or go for it on that slice of cake - but don't eat bad all day, and then be disappointed when you realize you've sabotaged your entire week.
• Drink water. Drink so much water. 
• Be open to trying new foods, especially fruits and vegetables. I had a pear yesterday for the first time in my life (at least that I can recall). I'd had canned pears before but don't remember ever actually eating a pear - and I loved it... so much so that I had a second, and then bought a few more to bring home and eat over the course of a few days.
• Get the junk food out of the house. If it's there, you'll want to eat it. If it's not, you can't. Grab lots of fruits and veggies instead.
• Exercise! Even if it's something little... I started out walking, and love it. I was doing 6-7 miles at a time last fall, but I had to work my way up to that. Don't expect yourself to be running a marathon next week. Walk to the mailbox today. Then walk a little further tomorrow. Find an excuse to walk around your house.
• Be kind to yourself. You're doing the best you can!