11 March 2011

a letter to K

Dear K,

Maybe it is selfish of me, but I kind of want someone who won't throw me on the back burner. I mean, I'm thrilled that a guy pays some attention to me - really I am - but I am getting sick and tired of being the one who has to put forth all of the effort.

I realize I'm not that pretty, and I'm pretty chubby. And really, I'm sure I'm not the greatest catch. But damn. I am a human being.

And what really kills me is that you're the one who started all of this nonsense. "Oh, I could really see you being the one I marry," "I think you're the one." Really? REALLY?! So, your intended future wife - You intend to ignore her, send her shitty little one-word answers, basically act like an asshole? Then damn, I'll be more than happy to find someone else.

Actually, you know what? I'll be more than happy to stay single. I want to be a mother more than I want to be a wife. In a few years, when I have this school stuff out of the way, I will find a way to get pregnant, have my own child(ren), and be a single, independent woman. Besides, being single will be so much more conducive to my idea of traveling overseas to teach English to little Spanish kids. I certainly do not need the headache of a man hanging along.

Unless you are actually serious about the things you said the other night, please just leave me alone. You broke my heart once before, and I really do not think that I can bear to have it broken again.

Almost yours,

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