02 November 2011

i just want to make it all okay..

A friend who I've not seen in over three years texted me today to tell me that his father had passed away this afternoon. The worst part? His mother passed away about a month and a half ago, and his uncle this past week.

And all I want to do right now is drive ten hours, and let him cry, or talk, or sleep, or watch tv, or whatever it is that he needs to do. But I feel the need to be there beside him - to bring him food, to hold his hand, to be his shoulder to cry on, to support him when he has to make funeral arrangements. Ever since he told me, I have been jittery, ready to hop in my car and drive the ten hours to be with him.

But he doesn't want me there. I am not sure if it is because he DOESN'T WANT ME THERE, or it is because he is being strong and tough, and doesn't want to burden me.

And I continue to be antsy, to be jittery, to feel the need to get in the car and go. And it's breaking my heart. And I can't stop crying, because all I want to do is make everything okay. And I just can't.

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