I haven't written in far too long, as my life has been strange, and busy, and an utter mess. I changed jobs at the end of May (and am about to go back to my old job, as it turns out that the grass is not necessarily greener on the other side). I have been stressed, and exhausted, and depressed. While I haven't gotten a diagnosis (I am waiting until I am back to the old job, and have insurance again), I am pretty sure that I suffer from depression, anxiety, and quite possibly some other mental illnesses.
This week, I am taking some "me time," and already feel better. I am trying not to think about the fact that I had to quit my job a week earlier than I intended, because I felt like I was on the verge of a mental breakdown, and that my wallet will suffer for it. I feel healthier, just for having taken a few days to myself, to re-connect with who I am, and to sort out the nonsense in my head. It takes all I have to just get out of bed most of the time, and I am working on that. Last night, I slept on the couch, and other than getting up to use the bathroom, and let the dogs in and out, I did nothing until ten this evening, when I forced myself to get up, switch the laundry that I'd started yesterday, and start rearranging my bedroom (my big goal for this week).
My goal is to start blogging more often, to start talking about what I go through with depression and anxiety. I have started to become increasingly open about it on my facebook, which has been both terrifying and cathartic. I want to be able to say how I feel, and know that I am not alone, and work on fixing myself so that this isn't my everyday reality.