What are you afraid to ask for? What do you need to speak up about? I feel like most of the things that I don't stand up for myself about involve family. I'm forever afraid of stepping on someone's toes, or of making someone I'm related to in some degree angry or upset with me. The thing is - I don't even avoid these conflicts because of myself. I'm at a point that I'd be fine if people decided they wanted nothing to do with me if I spoke up about things - but I keep my mouth shut because I don't want to upset the family members that do matter more to me. And despite her being gone for more than half of my lifetime, I never want to do anything when it comes to family, that would make my mother upset with me. She always seemed to keep the peace, and I feel like that's meant to be my role. It's not that these things that I feel like speaking up about happen frequently... it's just that once in a while, head-about-to-explode-from-the-ridiculousness feeling.
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